What God Has Promised

God has not promised skies always blue
Flower strewn pathways all our lives through;

God has not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.

God has not promised we shall not know
Toil and temptation, trouble and woe;

He has not told us we shall not bear
Many a burden, many a care.

But God has promised strength for the day,
Rest for the laborer, light for the way,

Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing sympathy, undying love.


* I didn't write this one, but I think it has a good message and is something I need to be reminded of.

Simple Acts

It was another late night, kinda the trend these days. The elevators are faster when no one’s around, for some strange reason, so that’s always nice. The parking garage is empty too, which means I don’t have to follow patients going 5 mph (yes it’s the posted speed but seriously), which also means I get home faster. I-4 is usually more sparse that late too (less stupid ppl on the road = less road rage).

Anyway, so it was late, I was happy to be leaving and in a hurry to get home to the pup. A guy gets off the elevator a little bit after I got off mine. He was far enough back that I had to pause for a moment to hold the door for him. I almost didn’t, partly bc I didn’t really care and partly bc I was in a hurry to go home and do nothing. But I did, and it wasn’t that big of deal. Until he said, “thanks, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s done for me all day.”

Then I felt like an idiot. This 2 second sacrifice I made had made a difference to someone else. How silly of me to second guess taking time to help someone. And stupid that I am afraid to go further with it than that. At that point I did care. I wanted him to have a better day because I know what crappy days are like. I think I said something like “Awwww, that’s too bad. But you’re going home now!” I should have cared more, asked questions maybe. I’m just afraid of interfering in ppls lives when they don’t want me there. Which is stupid. Because if they didn’t want me there then they’d tell me and I would know.

I want to be more like a guy I know at church. He serves with reckless abandon. He will go the extra mile because he sees a need and he can do something. Its so lame that fear is the reason I don’t do more, to make a difference. I’m not quite sure how to get past it though.

4-leaf clover

Looking for a four-leaf clover is a lot like searching for the right guy. You know what you are looking for, there are lots of opportunities, but you aren’t entirely convinced that they exist.

I’ve been dating for a good 10 years now and have been able to narrow down what qualities I am looking for. The problem is no longer determining what I want, but actually finding what I want. I should say, finding what I think I want because that tends to change over time.

Maybe “Mr. Right” doesn’t exist for me. Maybe I had my chance and passed him up. Maybe I’ve become too picky (in my fear of making the wrong choice or simply “settling”) that if I knew him now I would reason him away. It could really be any number of things but no conclusion can be drawn from this speculation.

It’s discouraging. Especially when I find a guy who seems really great. One that on paper, and in my head, would be a perfect match. Unfortunately, things aren’t always what they seem. And I am sick of thinking about this already.