Melancholy Me

I’m melancholy. Or so I’ve been told. I suppose I see that, but I kinda resent it at the same time. Depression is not something that is common for me anymore, and I would not describe myself as a gloomy person in general. Of course there are those moments, we all have them. (like right now for example…tho there is no specific reason why)

I agree with the part of the definition that says I am pensive and contemplative. I tend to internalize a lot of my emotions and thoughts. It’s just a personality thing I think. Maybe partially something I’ve trained myself to do as well. Part defense mechanism and partly a test.

By test I mean that most ppl these days are only casually interested in other ppl. To avoid fake friendships, that do me no good, I have the tendency to withhold information about myself. However, if I feel someone is genuinely interested in getting to know me, for who I am, then I’m totally open. I don’t really subscribe to that whole passing “how are you doing today” crap. If you don’t care, don’t ask. If you don’t have time to listen, then don’t bother.

Anyway, I’m aware that this attitude is not always a good thing, but that’s just how it is. And that, my friends, is my rant for the evening.